Sibling Relationships — protecting the bond
Practical ideas for reducing conflict, encouraging kindness, and protecting the bond between siblings. Sibling relationships are the longest relationships most people will have.
How we approach sibling relationships
Conflict between siblings is normal. The goal is not to eliminate it, but to teach children how to handle it.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "None of you believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." We teach children to apply this to their siblings first. If you learn it with your sibling, you can learn it with anyone.
When siblings fight, do not always solve it for them. Teach them the steps: (1) Say what happened. (2) Say how you feel. (3) Say what you need. (4) Find a solution together. This takes longer at first but pays off.
Give them tasks they can only do together. Set up a "sibling team" chore. Encourage them to work as a pair for good deeds — the Good Deeds Tracker has a "teamwork" category.
Never compare siblings to each other. "Why can't you be more like your sister?" is one of the most damaging things a parent can say. Each child is unique and is tested uniquely.
Each child needs undivided attention from each parent regularly. Even 15 minutes per week of "no sibling, no phone, just us" time can transform a child's sense of security and reduce jealousy.
The Chore Chart and Good Deeds Tracker can be used as "sibling team" tools — children track how many times they helped each other, shared, or said something kind. What gets tracked gets done.
Track kindness between siblings.
The Good Deeds Tracker has a "kindness" category — children can track how often they helped their sibling.